TW: Covid, Mandates
Where I live, we need to show proof of vaccination to access non-essential services. And I admit that when this was announced it threw me off my center. Vaccinated or not we shouldn't have to share our vaccine status in order to access the freedoms of being adults in North America.
I'm not anti-anything. In fact I've found in the past that anything I put "anti" in front of is something I'm giving my personal power away to. And while the announcement brought up a gamut of emotions that weren't comfortable I'm also super grateful that I'm at a time in my life when I have the wisdom and body intelligence to do what feels right in my body, and make decisions for myself, instead of being influenced by what family, friends, and society are choosing for themselves.
For several several years I was the calm cool collected one who never wanted to create any waves. The people pleaser, the energy and mood manager of the house, family, or group. And my nervous system had that covered. No matter what was going on, I was the calm one, taking care of everyone else before myself.
I was sacrificing myself.
I was behaving how I thought I needed to behave to be loved, to feel worthy, to feel deserving of the goodness of life. This was in my 20's. When my 30's came along my body and my nervous system let me know it wasn't down with that anymore. I experienced burnout, fatigue, anxiety, depression, etc. Change was needed in several ways that would be revealed to me slowly. When, further on in my 30's, I was no longer capable and my body was no longer willing to be the calm one in uncomfortable situations I judged myself for all the emotions coming up. Of course I did. No one told me growing up that it was ok to feel whatever I was feeling. I hope someone has expressed to you - It is okay to feel whatever you are feeling.
Now, in my late 30's, and my body responding as it does to uncomfortable situations I'm grateful. My connection to my body and it's wisdom has strengthened. My body shows me what's ready to be healed and what walls, defenses, and tensions no longer serve me. So now I appreciate my emotions when they come and if I'm not in a space where I can honour them and fele them in the moment, I speak to my body and say "I hear you. Later when we're in a safe space I'll do my best to honour and listen to you".
This is the journey. The wisdom. The path from the head to the heart and body. The path of love and acceptance. Allowing what arises within us. Honouring it. Being with it. And allowing it to move on when it's ready.
So thank you, body. And thank you for this time on earth when it is my right and responsibility to speak up for myself and for those who want to speak for themselves but who's nervous systems and/or environment won't allow them to feel safe doing so. Bodily autonomy, sovereignty, and freedom is our right.
My vaccination status is my personal information. I understand the weight of making the decision to vaccinate or not, and the gravity of the situation we are in. If you need a neutral sounding board to voice and express yourself as you move through the process of making this decision, please reach out.
Natalie loves life, people, animals, plants, and trees. She believes in the flow of life and approaches each day with gratitude.