Oh, loves. <3 Our bellies, eh?
How many of you walk around most of the day sucking it in? Or sucking it in when it's time for a pic? Or realize you're holding it tight because you're stressed, upset, scared, or feel like your shirt's too tight today, you ate french fries last night, etc etc?
Can we give our bellies some love? Especially the womxn out there. Especially the empath's and sensitives.
I did. I grew up in a home with someone who had a temper. Never directly towards me or anyone else but there were loud, audible sighs of irritation and impatience, doors slamming, looks of disdain, head shakes, etc. Little me just wanted to feel safe. I was already sensitive and aware of people's feelings and moods so I used that tool and became hyper-attuned to their energy, mood, and body language. And I became super aware of how much noise I was making, how much space I physically and energetically took up, where they were in the house relative to me, and also how I looked, as there were comments and glances regarding that.
Of course, I didn't realize I was doing this. I was young and just wanted to feel safe and loved, so the intelligence in me lead to these defensive behaviours. And that's the thing, I was on the defense. How do we hold our bodies when on the defense? Tight, rigid, walled, blocked, controlled. When the body is this way it's focused on survival, getting from one moment to the next, fight, flight, or freeze. More about this here. Needless to say this isn't a healthy mode to stay in for long periods of time. It's meant to be in short bursts until you get to safety and then the rest and digest response kicks in to recover and heal from it. After a while in fight/flight/freeze your digestion will suffer. The body's not putting energy towards that. It just wants to protect the vital organs and stay alive. And so begins a variety of problems related to digestion.
I myself have had a journey with digestion. I've experienced candida overgrowth, h. pylori, stomach pains, bloating, abdominal swelling, abdominal pain, constipation, etc etc etc. It's not fun. And it's difficult because as a human we need to be eating and digesting food daily. Yes, there are cleanses and fasts, I've tried some of them. Some of them work at first, some of them made things worse in the long run.
If any of this sounds like you, here are a few loving suggestions:
1. Relax your belly. Completely. As much and as often as you can.
Our society doesn't show us or inform us that soft bellies are ideal for digestion, reproductive health, and overall health. The Goddesses and Queens of the past had round voluptuous bellies and were seen as beautiful! Let's bring this back!
A soft belly will lead to deeper breaths which leads to the rest and digest response which leads to better digestion, healing, etc. A soft round belly doesn't mean you're lazy or fat or any other negative connotation you may have around it. A soft belly means health.
2. If you have several digestive issues and food sensitivities/allergies I recommend seeing a holistic Allergy Elimination Practitioner. A holistic practitioner in this field will use NAET or a similar technique to help remove allergies/energy blockages around foods and environments, experiences, and emotions associated with those foods. It's really quite amazing! If you're in Fredericton, I recommend seeing Lisa Leaman at Forever Healthy. She can also do appointments virtually or by phone if you're outside Fredericton.
3. Begin healing your past hurts, nervous system, and bodily response around taking up space, being heard, and being seen.
If like me, you've been carrying this energetic pattern of shrinking yourself and molding yourself to other people's energy, moods, desires, it's time to bring this pattern to light, shine awareness on it, and begin to shift it to a pattern that's healthier, more freeing, and allows you to express yourself and show up. You deserve that. A hundred times yes, you deserve that. No matter who you grew up with and what they told you about who and how you are, you deserve to be you, fully.
If you're ready to shift these patterns, I'm happily here to be your guide. <3 Reach out, fill me in, let's see if the lovely wisdom of your body that helped you survive is now ready to help you heal and thrive.
I grew up naturally giving, naturally sensitive, naturally attuned to energy and emotions. Reading and seeing and feeling things that other people didn't notice. Sensing the feel of a room, a place, a person. This was normal and natural to me. Eventually though I began experiencing unexplained emotional and physical pain. And then after several years burnout arrived and led me to question if the lifestyle I was living was really working for me. But I don't regret any part of this journey. In fact I'm grateful! I was living out of alignment with my true nature and gifts. It was all a call back to myself.
As a giver, an empath and a sensitive a call back to yourself can be difficult as we are so other-oriented. Which is so beautiful, when in balance, like all things. When not in balance it can look like fatigue, anxiety, depression, stress and difficulty bouncing back from it, not feeling like yourself, burnout, low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, wondering "what's wrong with me", self-doubt, digestive problems, depletion, and other uncomfortable symptoms. If you're experiencing these and you're feeling the call to find your way back to yourself, have a look at this post, and feel into the suggestions below. <3
Three more things to know and embody as an empath and sensitive:
1. You aren't responsible for other people's energy and emotions.
It's not your responsibility to manage the room, or the moods or emotions of your family, friends, etc. You don't need to make other people happy. Or sacrifice yourself and your own happiness to do so.
Many of you grew up quickly. In your childhood you felt responsible for the emotions of your parents, siblings, and others. You put their welfare before yours. You've forgotten how to come back to yourself and that you don't need to carry other people's energy and emotions. And this pattern continues in your adult relationships with partners, co-workers, etc.
It this sounds familiar to you try this at the end of your day: Call yourself back. Say to yourself or out loud "I exhale and let go of other people's energy and emotions. I inhale and call my own energy back to me."
2. You are naturally a giver! And that is so sooooo beautiful!
Let's take a moment.
You, like nature, so naturally give to all those around you. Sometimes in ways you probably don't even recognize as giving because it's so natural. Do you see the beauty in that?
When we are really good givers we can sometimes attract people who quite good at taking. Lots of love to them! We could use some of that energy ourselves. :) But this dynamic doesn't always feel good to everyone involved because remember, it's all about balance, in giving and taking too.
This dynamic might feel comfortable and natural at first if it's one that you're familiar with. Eventually you might start to wonder why you feel depleted after spending time together. You might notice you're always the one listening and asking thoughtful questions without receiving the same in return.
I'm not suggesting you completely give up giving. :) Or that you completely give up on those people where you notice an unbalanced dynamic. I'm suggesting you acknowledge how it feel for you, then decide if you want to make a change. Notice when and where you feel seen, listened to, held, and where it feels like there's a balanced exchange. Move in that direction. And turn some of that awesome giving energy towards yourself! You deserve all the goodness, love, and generosity you offer to everyone else! Really. You are entirely worthy of that.
3. You don't need to heal other people, and all your own stuff, in order to be good enough, loveable, worthy and deserving of love, or capable of living a life you love.
You're likely naturally a bit of a healer. Maybe dabbling in healing modalities or full-blown living, teaching, and sharing them. Beauty, once again. <3 As healers it can be good to remind ourselves that we don't have to heal or save everyone that comes into our lives. You have your own unique journey that you grow and learn from and other people have theirs. Although uncomfortable sometimes everyone's journey is a part of their path and healing.
How would it feel to let go a tiny bit and create space for others to feel what they're feeling without taking it on? What if you chose your own healing and let others come to you completely on their own time and in their own way when/if they want guidance or support? What if you embodied and knew without a doubt that you are worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without taking on other people's emotions or feeling like you need to heal them? How would that feel? What would your life look like?
Also, for those who have been on the healing journey for a while, what if you knew right here, right now, that you are completely worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without having to do one more stitch of healing? :) :)
I share this with all the love, friends. Because I have been to these places and experienced them deeply. Being an empath and a sensitive can come with deep feelings and deep experiences. And we get to experience deep love, joy, beauty, fun, and connection!
Coaching for you, loving Empath and Sensitive, covers the topics in this blog, and so much more, in more depth. We do it in a way that's fun and expansive, deep and powerful, and that gets you moving - your body, your energy, creativity, life, etc. I love sharing with you! It's a pleasure and an honour to be a guide on your journey back to your self and the truth of who you are.
No matter what you've done since you were born; or what family/friends/community you were gifted; or what they said to you or how they feel about themselves; your worthiness, deservedness, loveability, and good enoughness are innate. They're in you just waiting to be remembered. Let's uncover them! Reach out and let's connect!
Empaths, sensitives, you are loved, and you are feeling a lot. I'm feeling too. It is such a beautiful gift to be you! And also I know that gift doesn't always feel like one.
As an empath/sensitive you love deeply and feel deeply. You've probably been doing it since childhood. Maybe even feeling, managing and responding to your parental figures', other family members', authority figures', friends' moods and emotions for so long that you don't even realize you do it. And that you don't need to do it. Oooooh, that's a kicker. Ponder that one. :) <3
Three things for your beautiful, sensitive, empathic soul and human being (experiencing being human) self to know and embody:
2. It's not selfish to want to be in your own energy and to release other people's emotions. S o. N o t. S e l f i s h.
It's not selfish to say the phrase above and disconnect. You'll likely reconnect again since that's what you do naturally and have been doing for years. You have no obligations when it comes to other people's energy or emotion. Their emotions and their journey are for them. Their healing is FOR them. It's part of their growth. And no doubt where you are on your journey is part of your growth.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel your own feelings, have clarity, feel light and good in your body. Even when there's so much going on in the world. That doesn't mean you lack compassion. You probably have heaps of it. Heaps. That will never go away. You just learn healthy boundaries. And that benefits not only you but the people in your life. More about boundaries to come. :)
It can be tough sometimes, I know. But there are tools. There are guides. And your gifts are your gifts because you're a part of showing other people like you a different way. Maybe even sharing your gifts with them in an empowered, healthy, and pleasurable way.
The more you embody you and your amazingness, come back to you, hold your center, the closer you'll feel to yourself, the life you want to live, and the way you want to feel. You deserve that!
I'm creating a structure for Coaching that's tailored to your unique needs and desires, Empaths and Sensitives. A container that will allow you to embody all the above and more! Reach out and connect. I'd love to be a part of your journey. <3
Happy Winter Solstice!!
Inhale, haaaaa. That's my pleasurable sigh. Hope you joined me for it. ;)
During this busy and sometimes stressful time of year the Winter Solstice is an opportunity to pause and breathe (as above) and to step back and look at what's really important about this time of year.
For me this is an important time to be in nature, connect with the beauty around me, and tend to my inner self.
Mother nature offers us so much, and she appreciates it when we take time to thank her for all she gives. I like to show gratitude by enjoying the way the sun sparkles on the snow and shines through the trees. I love taking in the outlines of the trees now that the leaves are gone and admire their beautiful shapes.
I love to ask the evergreens permission to touch them and then breathe in the incredible smell they leave on my hands. After a walk in the woods or on a trail I always feel lighter and clearer so I thank mother nature for that too.
For Solstice I'll also spend time indoors at my altar meditating, pulling cards, writing affirmations, and setting intentions for this new season/year. And I'll definitely take some time to connect with my center, my internal home, my womb, and offer her any love or space or movement she may be calling for.
This feels like such a special day! And I love how this season brings out the generosity and kindness in people.
On that note I would love to offer you a free preview of Week 1 of my Moon and Womb Cycles Online Course. Week 1 is associated with the season of Winter; when we look at nature we see that this is a time of deep rest. Week 1 of our cycle offers us that same opportunity if we allow it.
Moon and Womb Cycles Online Course gives you the opportunity to connect with nature, the moon, your womb, and your cycle. Even if you don't menstruate you are still connected to nature's rhythms. They are still there to share wisdom, knowledge, balance, harmony, and peace with you. So that is my hope for you in receiving this gift from me - that you will feel the power and beauty of the connection between nature and the womb, and that you might begin to see the experience of being a woman as deeply magical and powerful. Those of you that will connect with this wisdom are here to show people another way of being; a new (but very old) way of showing up in the world as a feminine spirit in balance with the masculine.
And because I'm feeling absolutely abundant during this amazing time of year I'm offering select V-steam herb blends and V-steam consultations at reduced prices for today only!
Also, follow me on Instagram for a free video series for Empaths and Sensitives. What I share will help you navigate the holidays with ease. <3
May your holiday season be peaceful, restful, restorative, and grounding, if that's what you wish for yourself.
I love my clients!
They're the women that you are drawn to. The women who have the kindest, most compassionate hearts. The women that you know are making an impact in this world, some of them just by being themselves.
They're the women who light the room up when they enter it. They're the ones you call when you've had a really shitty day and don't know who else you can talk to. And the ones who remember that important date or event you have coming up and send you a text about it.
They are intelligent, kind, and capable. They are thinkers, feelers, and healers. They are talented beyond measure. And they love with all their hearts.
But, they give themselves no credit for these things.
Instead they play it small. They choose not to stand out. They fear sharing their talents and creative abilities with the world. If they draw up the courage to do it anyway, it comes with a lot of self-doubt, and maybe nights spent awake thinking about all the things they could have done differently.
They're sometimes taken advantage of because of their kindness and their willingness to share their heart with the world. They struggle with boundaries and saying "no".
They struggle with knowing their worth, that they deserve amazing things, and that the world wants to give that to them. They might think themselves undeserving or that everyone else should have what they want first.
They struggle to express their needs and put themselves first. In relationships, they're the healer, the caretaker, the strong one, but when they need someone to turn to there's no one there.
These beautiful women are often happy on the surface but in quiet moments feel and know that there is something more. And when/if they reach a point of unhappiness or wanting more for themselves and their lives, they judge their feelings, thinking they should just be grateful and happy for what they have.
Radiant soul, this is your permission slip:
You are allowed to be the biggest, fullest, most authentic expression of who you are, and love who you are 100%!
You are allowed to show up, light up, and express yourself! When you let go of playing small you benefit your family, your community, and the world. Yes, you are that powerful!
Also, you have permission to be powerful!
Your creative talents and abilities are a part of all our healing! You have permission to share them openly and freely and know within your heart and soul that they are magnificent, regardless of what anyone else says.
You were born with permission to say "no" when you want to say "no" and permission to say "yes" when you want to say "yes". Remember that. It is your right.
You have permission to tell your friends, family, strangers, how you will and will not be treated.
You have permission to use your voice! For your good, for the good of others, for the good of the planet.
You have permission to express your needs, know that they are important, and know that you are worthy of them. Always.
You have permission to be happy, unhappy, sad, mad, angry, confused, lost, listless, ashamed, joyful, giddy, excited, all of it! Feeling unhappy about a part of your life does not mean you are ungrateful. It means you are ready for change.
You have permission to enjoy being the loving, kind, sensitive, feeling, passionate, sensual, fun-loving, empowered, strong, expressive, intelligent, sexy, playful and creative woman that you are and to want a life that feels good.
This is your birthright.
You have permission to enjoy being the loving, kind, sensitive, feeling, passionate, sensual, fun-loving, empowered, strong, expressive, intelligent, sexy, and playful woman that you are and to want a life that feels good.
That is your birthright.
Want some help with this? I know how to hold space for you on your journey of stepping into the fullness of who you are and living a life you love. I know because I have been one of these women.
With empowered love,
Natalie loves life, people, animals, plants, and trees. She believes in the flow of life and approaches each day with gratitude.