​I’ve been doing less healing. Taking the pressure off of “work” completely.
I considered offering a free V-steam how to for Valentine’s day. But there’s a big step that needs to happen before V-steaming, before encouraging someone to get in touch with their womb, vulva, pleasure. Before healing. Or as a part of it.
It’s consent.
Bodily consent.
1 to 1.
Consent between your body and you.
There is a whole language to learn.
Several conversations to have.
Presence to be held.
This.
This is necessary. It’s the foundation needed before moving towards healing past experiences and current experiences.
It’s nervous system awareness. Body wisdom awareness. Getting to know the way your body speaks to you. Your true yes. And your true no.
If your mind wants to V-steam, but your vagina is saying no. It’s a no. Otherwise it’s trauma. Being unheard again. Not having control over your own body again. Giving yourself away again.
My own personal healing became pushy, forced, exhausting. I gave it a timeline. Pressure. I needed to see the external results of it before I felt I was good enough. Parameters from my head, influenced by patriarchy and capitalism.
Two big words and two big systems that need to change.
Healing is not direct. Not always visible. Doesn’t follow 9-5, 40-50 hour work weeks. Doesn’t follow a calendar. Will not directly result in a raise, a title, etc. Is messy, imperfect, and not pretty. Yet, is THE most valuable thing you will ever do.
When your body is ready.
If you push it before it’s ready you inflict more pain, more damage.
This is serious stuff.
Not to be taken lightly.
Not for show.
Not a race.
It’s a slow and steady walk.
And you deserve the time, space, patience, presence, and support required.
Personally I’ve decided to stop giving my power away to healing. To begin telling the story of my love, happiness, health and joy instead.
To begin telling the story of my power.
How I hold it.
How I embody it.
How I am it. 

I am maybe one of the most flowy people you will ever meet.

My ideal day doesn't have a schedule or anything planned. I get to flow from one thing to the next as I'm inspired to, as my body guides me to, as invitations are offered. And I get to check in, "does this feel right to me today", "does it feel aligned", "does it allow for ease"? 

When I have space and time to flow, when I'm connected to the flow, I feel healthy, vibrant, happy, and excited about my day and life. My digestion improves, my creativity improves, my relationships and world view improve, my mental health improves. I sleep better, am able to handle stress and change better, and feel more connected to myself and others. I feel safe to be connected and trust the flow of my day, work, movement, creativity, and life path. 

I would live my whole life this way if I could. Moving from one piece of work/art to the next. Maybe even from one location to the next. Coming back to each as I feel inspired. Some will be finished. Some will not. some will be for long periods of time, some for short. 

To join us, click here. ​

I had a pap test done today. It had been too long since my last one as that experience was traumatizing. 

At that time I didn't have the voice or will power to speak up for myself.

Today, even though the nurse told me to have my feet up and ready to go when the NP came in, I didn't. I stayed seated so I could talk to her and be heard.

I voiced my last experience and asked her to proceed slowly and gently. I let her know that I might need to take some deep breaths before she begins.

This is why womb work is important.

Because many womxn experience trauma related to their wombs, yonis, vulvas. And because many womxn are not taught to speak up for themselves around anyone, much less authority figures such as doctors. And because we're not taught that it's safe to be sovereign, powerful and have autonomy over our bodies, so we give our power and our bodies away and experience more trauma.

It's all related - our womb, our voice, our power.

Today's experience was a positive one. Next time I'll be even more clear - "Please let me know when you are preparing to insert the speculum. I will need to take 3 deep breaths before you do" "Please tell me what you are doing now" etc.

This is how we regain trust, of ourselves and others. By voicing our needs and having them heard and understood.

#womb #sovereignty #selftrust #selfcare #bodyautonomy #speakingup #voice #innatepower #bornwise #listen

Oh, loves. <3 Our bellies, eh?

How many of you walk around most of the day sucking it in? Or sucking it in when it's time for a pic? Or realize you're holding it tight because you're stressed, upset, scared, or feel like your shirt's too tight today, you ate french fries last night, etc etc?

Can we give our bellies some love? Especially the womxn out there. Especially the empath's and sensitives.

 I did. I grew up in a home with someone who had a temper. Never directly towards me or anyone else but there were loud, audible sighs of irritation and impatience, doors slamming, looks of disdain, head shakes, etc. Little me just wanted to feel safe. I was already sensitive and aware of people's feelings and moods so I used that tool and became hyper-attuned to their energy, mood, and body language. And I became super aware of how much noise I was making, how much space I physically and energetically took up, where they were in the house relative to me, and also how I looked, as there were comments and glances regarding that.

Of course, I didn't realize I was doing this. I was young and just wanted to feel safe and loved, so the intelligence in me lead to these defensive behaviours. And that's the thing, I was on the defense. How do we hold our bodies when on the defense? Tight, rigid, walled, blocked, controlled. When the body is this way it's focused on survival, getting from one moment to the next, fight, flight, or freeze. More about this here. Needless to say this isn't a healthy mode to stay in for long periods of time. It's meant to be in short bursts until you get to safety and then the rest and digest response kicks in to recover and heal from it. After a while in fight/flight/freeze your digestion will suffer. The body's not putting energy towards that. It just wants to protect the vital organs and stay alive. And so begins a variety of problems related to digestion. 

I myself have had a journey with digestion. I've experienced candida overgrowth, h. pylori, stomach pains, bloating, abdominal swelling, abdominal pain, constipation, etc etc etc. It's not fun. And it's difficult because as a human we need to be eating and digesting food daily. Yes, there are cleanses and fasts, I've tried some of them. Some of them work at first, some of them made things worse in the long run.

If any of this sounds like you, here are a few loving suggestions:

1. Relax your belly. Completely. As much and as often as you can.

Our society doesn't show us or inform us that soft bellies are ideal for digestion, reproductive health, and overall health. The Goddesses and Queens of the past had round voluptuous bellies and were seen as beautiful! Let's bring this back!  ​

A soft belly will lead to deeper breaths which leads to the rest and digest response which leads to better digestion, healing, etc. A soft round belly doesn't mean you're lazy or fat or any other negative connotation you may have around it. A soft belly means health. 

2. If you have several digestive issues and food sensitivities/allergies I recommend seeing a holistic Allergy Elimination Practitioner. A holistic practitioner in this field will use NAET or a similar technique to help remove allergies/energy blockages around foods and environments, experiences, and emotions associated with those foods. It's really quite amazing! If you're in Fredericton, I recommend seeing Lisa Leaman at Forever Healthy. She can also do appointments virtually or by phone if you're outside Fredericton. 

3. Begin healing your past hurts, nervous system, and bodily response around taking up space, being heard, and being seen.

If like me, you've been carrying this energetic pattern of shrinking yourself and molding yourself to other people's energy, moods, desires, it's time to bring this pattern to light, shine awareness on it, and begin to shift it to a pattern that's healthier, more freeing, and allows you to express yourself and show up. You deserve that. A hundred times yes, you deserve that. No matter who you grew up with and what they told you about who and how you are, you deserve to be you, fully. 

If you're ready to shift these patterns, I'm happily here to be your guide. <3 Reach out, fill me in, let's see if the lovely wisdom of your body that helped you survive is now ready to help you heal and thrive. ​

Sometimes I feel like I sound like a broken record. ;) But it's because there are some key foundational things that we could all benefit from knowing and most public schools don't teach them. Things we could all use some knowledge on in order to empower ourselves and take care of our own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

One of these things is two of the ways our nervous system responds to life, experiences, food, interactions, etc. I'm definitely going to be simplifying this. I'm not a physiologist, or doctor, etc. I'm a human sharing about being human, with you humans. :)

Fight or flight. The nervous system's response to a threat, to danger. Breathing, blood flow, heart rate, everything speeds up in order to protect the vital organs, in order to keep us alive, in order to survive. Think running away from a saber-tooth tiger. But we've evolved since then, we don't often encounter saber-tooth tigers in our world (thankfully). So today some things that can trigger fight or flight are stress at work, a riff in a relationship, natural disasters, financial problems, illness, illness of a loved one, etc etc. The thing is when you run away from a saber-tooth tiger, you're going to relax and take a deep breath when you know you've made it, that you're safe from the threat (the tiger). ​

​There's so much goodness here in the rest and digest response. So much ability and capability for healing and to feel good. And it's naturally built into the body. Amazing! There could be a whole other post on just this response. For now think of the last time you really took a deep breath and felt like you were in the moment. When your mind didn't rush to the next thing you should be doing, and you allowed yourself to just be still. In that moment, you may have even heard some stomach gurgles as your body came into rest and digest. You may have felt like you could breathe deeper or longer. You may have felt like all was right with the world. This is deeply restorative and nourishing for our minds, bodies, and souls. <3

So the problem becomes when we're living stressful lives or re-living trauma on the daily, our systems don't have the chance to reboot, restore, recharge, rebalance. We're perpetually in fight or flight. We're literally burning both ends of the candle. And then we wonder why we can't sleep, can't digest food, can't relax, can't be present, can't feel good. Because your body thinks it's in danger and is putting energy into survival instead of these things, instead of thriving.  

So what do we do? We start to notice where our bodies are on the scale of fight/flight and rest/digest. And if we're in a space where we can shift down into rest and digest, we breathe. Breathe deeply. Soften the belly. Let it fill and expand on the inhale. Let it empty out on the exhale. Slowly count to 4 on the inhale, and then 5 or 6 on the exhale. Soft belly, slower breath, longer exhale, all lead to rest and digest. Start with one of these, you don't have to do them all at the same time. 

Give yourself time to rest. Batteries need to recharge at some point, and so do you. Rest is subjective. And can be a 5 second break from the computer, close your eyes, take a deep breath. It can be spending all day in the hammock reading a book. It can be everything in between and even deeper opportunities for rest if you have that ability. You deserve it. 

Move your body. Sleep and rest always come easier after you move some. Walk, dance, do yoga, bike, hike. Also, nature elevates all these activities and your body's ability to come into rest and digest afterwards. Movement and nature are powerful healers. 

And most of all know that you are worthy of rest and that you don't have to push, grind, and hustle all the time in order to be good enough, worthy, or deserving of everything you desire and more. It's true. Read that again. ;)

PS. Both of these nervous system responses are beneficial! It all depends on the context. 
PPS. We're often not fully in one or another of the responses but somewhere in between. Now you have the awareness to notice within yourself and shift if it you choose, and your body and the context allows. <3

I grew up naturally giving, naturally sensitive, naturally attuned to energy and emotions. Reading and seeing and feeling things that other people didn't notice. Sensing the feel of a room, a place, a person. This was normal and natural to me. Eventually though I began experiencing unexplained emotional and physical pain. And then after several years burnout arrived and led me to question if the lifestyle I was living was really working for me. But I don't regret any part of this journey. In fact I'm grateful! I was living out of alignment with my true nature and gifts. It was all a call back to myself.

As a giver, an empath and a sensitive a call back to yourself can be difficult as we are so other-oriented. Which is so beautiful, when in balance, like all things. When not in balance it can look like fatigue, anxiety, depression, stress and difficulty bouncing back from it, not feeling like yourself, burnout, low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, wondering "what's wrong with me", self-doubt, digestive problems, depletion, and other uncomfortable symptoms. If you're experiencing these and you're feeling the call to find your way back to yourself, have a look at this post, and feel into the suggestions below. <3

Three more things to know and embody as an empath and sensitive: 

1. You aren't responsible for other people's energy and emotions.

It's not your responsibility to manage the room, or the moods or emotions of your family, friends, etc. You don't need to make other people happy. Or sacrifice yourself and your own happiness to do so.

Many of you grew up quickly. In your childhood you felt responsible for the emotions of your parents, siblings, and others. You put their welfare before yours. You've forgotten how to come back to yourself and that you don't need to carry other people's energy and emotions. And this pattern continues in your adult relationships with partners, co-workers, etc.

It this sounds familiar to you try this at the end of your day: Call yourself back. Say to yourself or out loud "I exhale and let go of other people's energy and emotions. I inhale and call my own energy back to me." 

​​​
​2. You are naturally a giver! And that is so sooooo beautiful! 

Let's take a moment.

​You, like nature, so naturally give to all those around you. Sometimes in ways you probably don't even recognize as giving because it's so natural. Do you see the beauty in that?

When we are really good givers we can sometimes attract people who quite good at taking. Lots of love to them! We could use some of that energy ourselves. :) But this dynamic doesn't always feel good to everyone involved because remember, it's all about balance, in giving and taking too.

This dynamic might feel comfortable and natural at first if it's one that you're familiar with.  Eventually you might start to wonder why you feel depleted after spending time together. You might notice you're always the one listening and asking thoughtful questions without receiving the same in return.

I'm not suggesting you completely give up giving. :) Or that you completely give up on those people where you notice an unbalanced dynamic. I'm suggesting you acknowledge how it feel for you, then decide if you want to make a change. Notice when and where you feel seen, listened to, held, and where it feels like there's a balanced exchange. Move in that direction. And turn some of that awesome giving energy towards yourself! You deserve all the goodness, love, and generosity you offer to everyone else! Really. You are entirely worthy of that. ​

3. You don't need to heal other people, and all your own stuff, in order to be good enough, loveable, worthy and deserving of love, or capable of living a life you love. 

You're likely naturally a bit of a healer. Maybe dabbling in healing modalities or full-blown living, teaching, and sharing them. Beauty, once again. <3 As healers it can be good to remind ourselves that we don't have to heal or save everyone that comes into our lives. You have your own unique journey that you grow and learn from and other people have theirs. Although uncomfortable sometimes everyone's journey is a part of their path and healing.

How would it feel to let go a tiny bit and create space for others to feel what they're feeling without taking it on? What if you chose your own healing and let others come to you completely on their own time and in their own way when/if they want guidance or support? What if you embodied and knew without a doubt that you are worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without taking on other people's emotions or feeling like you need to heal them? How would that feel? What would your life look like?

Also, for those who have been on the healing journey for a while, what if you knew right here, right now, that you are completely worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without having to do one more stitch of healing? :) :)​

I share this with all the love, friends. Because I have been to these places and experienced them deeply. Being an empath and a sensitive can come with deep feelings and deep experiences. And we get to experience deep love, joy, beauty, fun, and connection!

Coaching for you, loving Empath and Sensitive, covers the topics in this blog, and so much more, in more depth. We do it in a way that's fun and expansive, deep and powerful, and that gets you moving - your body, your energy, creativity, life, etc. I love sharing with you! It's a pleasure and an honour to be a guide on your journey back to your self and the truth of who you are. ​​

No matter what you've done since you were born; or what family/friends/community you were gifted; or what they said to you or how they feel about themselves; your worthiness, deservedness, loveability, and good enoughness are innate. They're in you just waiting to be remembered. Let's uncover them! Reach out and let's connect!

Empaths, sensitives, you are loved, and you are feeling a lot. I'm feeling too. It is such a beautiful gift to be you! And also I know that gift doesn't always feel like one.

​As an empath/sensitive you love deeply and feel deeply. You've probably been doing it since childhood. Maybe even feeling, managing and responding to your parental figures', other family members', authority figures', friends' moods and emotions for so long that you don't even realize you do it. And that you don't need to do it. Oooooh, that's a kicker. Ponder that one. :) <3

​​Three things for your beautiful, sensitive, empathic soul and human being (experiencing being human) self to know and embody:

2. It's not selfish to want to be in your own energy and to release other people's emotions. S o. N o t. S e l f i s h.

It's not selfish to say the phrase above and disconnect. You'll likely reconnect again since that's what you do naturally and have been doing for years. You have no obligations when it comes to other people's energy or emotion. Their emotions and their journey are for them. Their healing is FOR them. It's part of their growth. And no doubt where you are on your journey is part of your growth. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel your own feelings, have clarity, feel light and good in your body.  Even when there's so much going on in the world. That doesn't mean you lack compassion. You probably have heaps of it. Heaps. That will never go away. You just learn healthy boundaries. And that benefits not only you but the people in your life. More about boundaries to come. :) ​

​It can be tough sometimes, I know. But there are tools. There are guides. And your gifts are your gifts because you're a part of showing other people like you a different way. Maybe even sharing your gifts with them in an empowered, healthy, and pleasurable way.

The more you embody you and your amazingness, come back to you, hold your center, the closer you'll feel to yourself, the life you want to live, and the way you want to feel. You deserve that!

I'm creating a structure for Coaching that's tailored to your unique needs and desires, Empaths and Sensitives. A container that will allow you to embody all the above and more! Reach out and connect. I'd love to be a part of your journey. <3

-Natalie

What if at the root of every emotion there is love?

I've been feeling a lot of fear lately. And I've been doing my usual looking into it, feeling into it, asking why. And I've found that underneath it is love. 

After years of doing this work, I was feeling that when fear shows up in an abundant amount it is a marker for change and growth. It's letting me know good things are on the other side of this. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could just bypass the fear and get to those good things? :)

But that doesn't work, so I do the work and feel into this fear and what I encounter is my belief that I'm not good enough. And I dig a touch more to find that it's the belief I'm not good enough to be loved. So I do my usual feeling and processing but this time I find this part of me doesn't necessarily want to be processed, it wants to be loved exactly as it is. It wants to know that she doesn't need to change in order to be loved. 

Isn't interesting how the layers unfold? I've encountered this before in myself but this time it was a deep "Hello, you don't need to change me. Love and accept me just as I am." So I did. I let that part of me know she doesn't need to change in order for me to love her. She can keep believing she's not enough. She can keep using that defense if she wants. I'll let it unveil in it's own time, because I know that truthfully I am enough. And when she's ready to embrace that truth, I'll be there to support, love, and accept her. That is love.  

I believe that someday it will be normal and natural to consider the earth and the environment in all the decisions we make, from food to homes to work to families. At this point we'll all know and feel how intrinsically connected we are to the environment and that we are only healthy when the environment is healthy. It's a symbiotic relationship that deserves deep respect, honouring, time, and energy. I sometimes wonder how much time we have. I  feel like this future needs to be now.

SHOPPING
- Bring clean reusable bags everywhere, not just the grocery store.
- Bring clean refillable jars and containers to fill up on bulk items. This can include cleaners and personal care products. 
- Buy local! Yes, your veggies, fruit, meat, home decor, and anything else you can think of. Search out a local, or environmentally friendly, sustainable source first. 
- Support your local stores, creators, artists, musicians, practitioners, writers, restaurants, bars, etc.
- Think about what you're buying. Where did it come from? How was it created? Who created it? How far does it have to travel to get to you? What packaging is it in?
- Choose natural products. If it harms the earth when disposed of, it likely harms you when you use it, ingest it, put it on your skin, lawn, pet, etc. 
- There are so many cool sites and companies online to buy second hand, refurbished furniture and household items from. Google it. I recently bought a refurbished phone and I couldn't be happier with it. 
- Choose food items that are plastic free or in glass containers instead of plastic. Then you get a jar with your purchase too! 
- Purchase organic! Do it! It doesn't matter if it costs more. Your health, the planet, the animals, the plants, you're all worth it!
- Remember what you spend money on is a vote for what you want more of.

OTHER ACTIONS
- Vote for political leaders that care about the environment. When they're elected, write them and remind them why you voted for them.
- Sign those environmental petitions you see on social media.
- Donate to environmental organizations like TreeSisters, the David Suzuki Foundation, Nature Conservation funds, etc.
- Walk, bike, carpool
- Reuse paper. Heading to the bin but only one side used? Use the other side to doodle, journal, make lists, write your daily gratitudes, etc. Then recycle. 
- Take hand-me-downs! Clothes, appliances, dishes, dish cloths, furniture, etc. Be creative! Make it your own. 
- Share - books, tools, clothes, shoes you've worn once and your friend will wear once, soil, seeds, food, love.
- Be grateful for our natural world and all they provide. 

These might not all seem convenient, but several of them are and it's worth it taking the extra time and effort. Convenience, which is something I love - don't get me wrong, is part of the reason we've gotten ourselves here. Let's think long term. How will our present actions affect the future, our children, and our children's children? How can we combine the amazing technology and convenience we have now with the wisdom, conservation, and knowledge of the environment? It's necessary to think this way now.

​Every day is Earth Day. ​