Oh, loves. <3 Our bellies, eh?

How many of you walk around most of the day sucking it in? Or sucking it in when it's time for a pic? Or realize you're holding it tight because you're stressed, upset, scared, or feel like your shirt's too tight today, you ate french fries last night, etc etc?

Can we give our bellies some love? Especially the womxn out there. Especially the empath's and sensitives.

 I did. I grew up in a home with someone who had a temper. Never directly towards me or anyone else but there were loud, audible sighs of irritation and impatience, doors slamming, looks of disdain, head shakes, etc. Little me just wanted to feel safe. I was already sensitive and aware of people's feelings and moods so I used that tool and became hyper-attuned to their energy, mood, and body language. And I became super aware of how much noise I was making, how much space I physically and energetically took up, where they were in the house relative to me, and also how I looked, as there were comments and glances regarding that.

Of course, I didn't realize I was doing this. I was young and just wanted to feel safe and loved, so the intelligence in me lead to these defensive behaviours. And that's the thing, I was on the defense. How do we hold our bodies when on the defense? Tight, rigid, walled, blocked, controlled. When the body is this way it's focused on survival, getting from one moment to the next, fight, flight, or freeze. More about this here. Needless to say this isn't a healthy mode to stay in for long periods of time. It's meant to be in short bursts until you get to safety and then the rest and digest response kicks in to recover and heal from it. After a while in fight/flight/freeze your digestion will suffer. The body's not putting energy towards that. It just wants to protect the vital organs and stay alive. And so begins a variety of problems related to digestion. 

I myself have had a journey with digestion. I've experienced candida overgrowth, h. pylori, stomach pains, bloating, abdominal swelling, abdominal pain, constipation, etc etc etc. It's not fun. And it's difficult because as a human we need to be eating and digesting food daily. Yes, there are cleanses and fasts, I've tried some of them. Some of them work at first, some of them made things worse in the long run.

If any of this sounds like you, here are a few loving suggestions:

1. Relax your belly. Completely. As much and as often as you can.

Our society doesn't show us or inform us that soft bellies are ideal for digestion, reproductive health, and overall health. The Goddesses and Queens of the past had round voluptuous bellies and were seen as beautiful! Let's bring this back!  ​

A soft belly will lead to deeper breaths which leads to the rest and digest response which leads to better digestion, healing, etc. A soft round belly doesn't mean you're lazy or fat or any other negative connotation you may have around it. A soft belly means health. 

2. If you have several digestive issues and food sensitivities/allergies I recommend seeing a holistic Allergy Elimination Practitioner. A holistic practitioner in this field will use NAET or a similar technique to help remove allergies/energy blockages around foods and environments, experiences, and emotions associated with those foods. It's really quite amazing! If you're in Fredericton, I recommend seeing Lisa Leaman at Forever Healthy. She can also do appointments virtually or by phone if you're outside Fredericton. 

3. Begin healing your past hurts, nervous system, and bodily response around taking up space, being heard, and being seen.

If like me, you've been carrying this energetic pattern of shrinking yourself and molding yourself to other people's energy, moods, desires, it's time to bring this pattern to light, shine awareness on it, and begin to shift it to a pattern that's healthier, more freeing, and allows you to express yourself and show up. You deserve that. A hundred times yes, you deserve that. No matter who you grew up with and what they told you about who and how you are, you deserve to be you, fully. 

If you're ready to shift these patterns, I'm happily here to be your guide. <3 Reach out, fill me in, let's see if the lovely wisdom of your body that helped you survive is now ready to help you heal and thrive. ​

Sometimes I feel like I sound like a broken record. ;) But it's because there are some key foundational things that we could all benefit from knowing and most public schools don't teach them. Things we could all use some knowledge on in order to empower ourselves and take care of our own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

One of these things is two of the ways our nervous system responds to life, experiences, food, interactions, etc. I'm definitely going to be simplifying this. I'm not a physiologist, or doctor, etc. I'm a human sharing about being human, with you humans. :)

Fight or flight. The nervous system's response to a threat, to danger. Breathing, blood flow, heart rate, everything speeds up in order to protect the vital organs, in order to keep us alive, in order to survive. Think running away from a saber-tooth tiger. But we've evolved since then, we don't often encounter saber-tooth tigers in our world (thankfully). So today some things that can trigger fight or flight are stress at work, a riff in a relationship, natural disasters, financial problems, illness, illness of a loved one, etc etc. The thing is when you run away from a saber-tooth tiger, you're going to relax and take a deep breath when you know you've made it, that you're safe from the threat (the tiger). ​

​There's so much goodness here in the rest and digest response. So much ability and capability for healing and to feel good. And it's naturally built into the body. Amazing! There could be a whole other post on just this response. For now think of the last time you really took a deep breath and felt like you were in the moment. When your mind didn't rush to the next thing you should be doing, and you allowed yourself to just be still. In that moment, you may have even heard some stomach gurgles as your body came into rest and digest. You may have felt like you could breathe deeper or longer. You may have felt like all was right with the world. This is deeply restorative and nourishing for our minds, bodies, and souls. <3

So the problem becomes when we're living stressful lives or re-living trauma on the daily, our systems don't have the chance to reboot, restore, recharge, rebalance. We're perpetually in fight or flight. We're literally burning both ends of the candle. And then we wonder why we can't sleep, can't digest food, can't relax, can't be present, can't feel good. Because your body thinks it's in danger and is putting energy into survival instead of these things, instead of thriving.  

So what do we do? We start to notice where our bodies are on the scale of fight/flight and rest/digest. And if we're in a space where we can shift down into rest and digest, we breathe. Breathe deeply. Soften the belly. Let it fill and expand on the inhale. Let it empty out on the exhale. Slowly count to 4 on the inhale, and then 5 or 6 on the exhale. Soft belly, slower breath, longer exhale, all lead to rest and digest. Start with one of these, you don't have to do them all at the same time. 

Give yourself time to rest. Batteries need to recharge at some point, and so do you. Rest is subjective. And can be a 5 second break from the computer, close your eyes, take a deep breath. It can be spending all day in the hammock reading a book. It can be everything in between and even deeper opportunities for rest if you have that ability. You deserve it. 

Move your body. Sleep and rest always come easier after you move some. Walk, dance, do yoga, bike, hike. Also, nature elevates all these activities and your body's ability to come into rest and digest afterwards. Movement and nature are powerful healers. 

And most of all know that you are worthy of rest and that you don't have to push, grind, and hustle all the time in order to be good enough, worthy, or deserving of everything you desire and more. It's true. Read that again. ;)

PS. Both of these nervous system responses are beneficial! It all depends on the context. 
PPS. We're often not fully in one or another of the responses but somewhere in between. Now you have the awareness to notice within yourself and shift if it you choose, and your body and the context allows. <3

I grew up naturally giving, naturally sensitive, naturally attuned to energy and emotions. Reading and seeing and feeling things that other people didn't notice. Sensing the feel of a room, a place, a person. This was normal and natural to me. Eventually though I began experiencing unexplained emotional and physical pain. And then after several years burnout arrived and led me to question if the lifestyle I was living was really working for me. But I don't regret any part of this journey. In fact I'm grateful! I was living out of alignment with my true nature and gifts. It was all a call back to myself.

As a giver, an empath and a sensitive a call back to yourself can be difficult as we are so other-oriented. Which is so beautiful, when in balance, like all things. When not in balance it can look like fatigue, anxiety, depression, stress and difficulty bouncing back from it, not feeling like yourself, burnout, low self-worth, lack of self-confidence, wondering "what's wrong with me", self-doubt, digestive problems, depletion, and other uncomfortable symptoms. If you're experiencing these and you're feeling the call to find your way back to yourself, have a look at this post, and feel into the suggestions below. <3

Three more things to know and embody as an empath and sensitive: 

1. You aren't responsible for other people's energy and emotions.

It's not your responsibility to manage the room, or the moods or emotions of your family, friends, etc. You don't need to make other people happy. Or sacrifice yourself and your own happiness to do so.

Many of you grew up quickly. In your childhood you felt responsible for the emotions of your parents, siblings, and others. You put their welfare before yours. You've forgotten how to come back to yourself and that you don't need to carry other people's energy and emotions. And this pattern continues in your adult relationships with partners, co-workers, etc.

It this sounds familiar to you try this at the end of your day: Call yourself back. Say to yourself or out loud "I exhale and let go of other people's energy and emotions. I inhale and call my own energy back to me." 

​​​
​2. You are naturally a giver! And that is so sooooo beautiful! 

Let's take a moment.

​You, like nature, so naturally give to all those around you. Sometimes in ways you probably don't even recognize as giving because it's so natural. Do you see the beauty in that?

When we are really good givers we can sometimes attract people who quite good at taking. Lots of love to them! We could use some of that energy ourselves. :) But this dynamic doesn't always feel good to everyone involved because remember, it's all about balance, in giving and taking too.

This dynamic might feel comfortable and natural at first if it's one that you're familiar with.  Eventually you might start to wonder why you feel depleted after spending time together. You might notice you're always the one listening and asking thoughtful questions without receiving the same in return.

I'm not suggesting you completely give up giving. :) Or that you completely give up on those people where you notice an unbalanced dynamic. I'm suggesting you acknowledge how it feel for you, then decide if you want to make a change. Notice when and where you feel seen, listened to, held, and where it feels like there's a balanced exchange. Move in that direction. And turn some of that awesome giving energy towards yourself! You deserve all the goodness, love, and generosity you offer to everyone else! Really. You are entirely worthy of that. ​

3. You don't need to heal other people, and all your own stuff, in order to be good enough, loveable, worthy and deserving of love, or capable of living a life you love. 

You're likely naturally a bit of a healer. Maybe dabbling in healing modalities or full-blown living, teaching, and sharing them. Beauty, once again. <3 As healers it can be good to remind ourselves that we don't have to heal or save everyone that comes into our lives. You have your own unique journey that you grow and learn from and other people have theirs. Although uncomfortable sometimes everyone's journey is a part of their path and healing.

How would it feel to let go a tiny bit and create space for others to feel what they're feeling without taking it on? What if you chose your own healing and let others come to you completely on their own time and in their own way when/if they want guidance or support? What if you embodied and knew without a doubt that you are worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without taking on other people's emotions or feeling like you need to heal them? How would that feel? What would your life look like?

Also, for those who have been on the healing journey for a while, what if you knew right here, right now, that you are completely worthy, deserving, loveable, and good enough without having to do one more stitch of healing? :) :)​

I share this with all the love, friends. Because I have been to these places and experienced them deeply. Being an empath and a sensitive can come with deep feelings and deep experiences. And we get to experience deep love, joy, beauty, fun, and connection!

Coaching for you, loving Empath and Sensitive, covers the topics in this blog, and so much more, in more depth. We do it in a way that's fun and expansive, deep and powerful, and that gets you moving - your body, your energy, creativity, life, etc. I love sharing with you! It's a pleasure and an honour to be a guide on your journey back to your self and the truth of who you are. ​​

No matter what you've done since you were born; or what family/friends/community you were gifted; or what they said to you or how they feel about themselves; your worthiness, deservedness, loveability, and good enoughness are innate. They're in you just waiting to be remembered. Let's uncover them! Reach out and let's connect!

Empaths, sensitives, you are loved, and you are feeling a lot. I'm feeling too. It is such a beautiful gift to be you! And also I know that gift doesn't always feel like one.

​As an empath/sensitive you love deeply and feel deeply. You've probably been doing it since childhood. Maybe even feeling, managing and responding to your parental figures', other family members', authority figures', friends' moods and emotions for so long that you don't even realize you do it. And that you don't need to do it. Oooooh, that's a kicker. Ponder that one. :) <3

​​Three things for your beautiful, sensitive, empathic soul and human being (experiencing being human) self to know and embody:

2. It's not selfish to want to be in your own energy and to release other people's emotions. S o. N o t. S e l f i s h.

It's not selfish to say the phrase above and disconnect. You'll likely reconnect again since that's what you do naturally and have been doing for years. You have no obligations when it comes to other people's energy or emotion. Their emotions and their journey are for them. Their healing is FOR them. It's part of their growth. And no doubt where you are on your journey is part of your growth. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel your own feelings, have clarity, feel light and good in your body.  Even when there's so much going on in the world. That doesn't mean you lack compassion. You probably have heaps of it. Heaps. That will never go away. You just learn healthy boundaries. And that benefits not only you but the people in your life. More about boundaries to come. :) ​

​It can be tough sometimes, I know. But there are tools. There are guides. And your gifts are your gifts because you're a part of showing other people like you a different way. Maybe even sharing your gifts with them in an empowered, healthy, and pleasurable way.

The more you embody you and your amazingness, come back to you, hold your center, the closer you'll feel to yourself, the life you want to live, and the way you want to feel. You deserve that!

I'm creating a structure for Coaching that's tailored to your unique needs and desires, Empaths and Sensitives. A container that will allow you to embody all the above and more! Reach out and connect. I'd love to be a part of your journey. <3

-Natalie

What if at the root of every emotion there is love?

I've been feeling a lot of fear lately. And I've been doing my usual looking into it, feeling into it, asking why. And I've foud that underneath it is love. 

After years of doing this work, I was feeling that when fear shows up in an abundant amount it is a marker for change and growth. It's letting me know good things are on the other side of this. 

Wouldn't it be great if we could just bypass the fear and get to those good things? :)

But that doesn't work, so I do the work and feel into this fear and what I encounter is my belief that I'm not good enough. And I dig a touch more to find that it's the belief I'm not good enough to be loved. So I do my usual feeling and processing but this time I find this part of me doesn't necessarily want to be processed, it wants to be loved exactly as it is. It wants to know that she doesn't need to change in order to be loved. 

Isn't interesting how the layers unfold? I've encountered this before in myself but this time it was a deep "Hello, you don't need to change me. Love and accept me just as I am." So I did. I let that part of me know she doesn't need to change in order for me to love her. She can keep believing she's not enough. She can keep using that defense if she wants. I'll let it unveil in it's own time, because I know that truthfully I am enough. And when she's ready to embrace that truth, I'll be there to support, love, and accept her. That is love.  

I believe that someday it will be normal and natural to consider the earth and the environment in all the decisions we make, from food to homes to work to families. At this point we'll all know and feel how intrinsically connected we are to the environment and that we are only healthy when the environment is healthy. It's a symbiotic relationship that deserves deep respect, honouring, time, and energy. I sometimes wonder how much time we have. I  feel like this future needs to be now.

SHOPPING
- Bring clean reusable bags everywhere, not just the grocery store.
- Bring clean refillable jars and containers to fill up on bulk items. This can include cleaners and personal care products. 
- Buy local! Yes, your veggies, fruit, meat, home decor, and anything else you can think of. Search out a local, or environmentally friendly, sustainable source first. 
- Support your local stores, creators, artists, musicians, practitioners, writers, restaurants, bars, etc.
- Think about what you're buying. Where did it come from? How was it created? Who created it? How far does it have to travel to get to you? What packaging is it in?
- Choose natural products. If it harms the earth when disposed of, it likely harms you when you use it, ingest it, put it on your skin, lawn, pet, etc. 
- There are so many cool sites and companies online to buy second hand, refurbished furniture and household items from. Google it. I recently bought a refurbished phone and I couldn't be happier with it. 
- Choose food items that are plastic free or in glass containers instead of plastic. Then you get a jar with your purchase too! 
- Purchase organic! Do it! It doesn't matter if it costs more. Your health, the planet, the animals, the plants, you're all worth it!
- Remember what you spend money on is a vote for what you want more of.

OTHER ACTIONS
- Vote for political leaders that care about the environment. When they're elected, write them and remind them why you voted for them.
- Sign those environmental petitions you see on social media.
- Donate to environmental organizations like TreeSisters, the David Suzuki Foundation, Nature Conservation funds, etc.
- Walk, bike, carpool
- Reuse paper. Heading to the bin but only one side used? Use the other side to doodle, journal, make lists, write your daily gratitudes, etc. Then recycle. 
- Take hand-me-downs! Clothes, appliances, dishes, dish cloths, furniture, etc. Be creative! Make it your own. 
- Share - books, tools, clothes, shoes you've worn once and your friend will wear once, soil, seeds, food, love.
- Be grateful for our natural world and all they provide. 

These might not all seem convenient, but several of them are and it's worth it taking the extra time and effort. Convenience, which is something I love - don't get me wrong, is part of the reason we've gotten ourselves here. Let's think long term. How will our present actions affect the future, our children, and our children's children? How can we combine the amazing technology and convenience we have now with the wisdom, conservation, and knowledge of the environment? It's necessary to think this way now.

​Every day is Earth Day. ​

As it becomes more and more obvious that our natural world, the environment, and our earth are in desperate need of our help and love and respect I keep getting called back to womb wisdom.

Womb wisdom can be many things. One of the most significant pieces of it for me is how guiding womxn to connect with their wombs naturally inclines them to connect more deeply with nature. It's hard to describe how or why this happens but it so clearly happens that I am often in awe. We come from the womb and we come from the earth. We consume food and water from the earth everyday; we walk on the earth; we breathe in their air. These are integral parts of being human.  These are integral parts of the earth. 

I first noticed this a while ago, when I offered the online course Dancing Your Moon Cycle. But actually it goes back even further to a Reiki session with Jocelyn Clark (Reiki Cottage) when she suggested I read Wild Feminine by Tami Lynn Kent. She generously lent me that book which I didn't pay much attention to for probably another year. And then when I picked it up again everything I read resonated. All of it. How womb wisdom connects us to the wild, to nature. How it connects us to our ancestors. How deep long held patterns of conditioning, emotion, and stories can be held here. During this time I also realized I was doing some deep holding in my own womb. Physically, yes there was tension, but I knew that tension was associated with something bigger. And as I continue to explore this medicine and let go more and more of what's holding me back from being authentically who I am, and feeling connected deeply to nature and the earth, I return to parts of me that have been lost for a long time, and parts of the womxn in my family that were shut down for many, many reasons. 

I sometimes think that things like womb wisdom become fads. Just like how Yoga, and ancient science and art, has become a fad. And that discourages me to be honest. I guess because these things start to be approached without the respect and reverence they deserve. 

If I told you that you carry a sacred seed in you that allows the human race to continue, and to continue to evolve physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, would you believe me? If I told you that this place in your temple, your body, is the root of all your creativity and that it connects you to all the womxn who have come before you and all the womxn who have come after you, would you feel that remembering in your body? And if I told you that you are connected to a sacred cycle which is connected to the cycle of the moon, nature's seasons, and the rhythm and heartbeat of the earth, would you then feel a piece in you open up to reveal this sacred wisdom that's been passed down through centuries?

These are just some of the things about our wombs that deserve respect and reverence. And the earth deserves just as much respect and reverence, if not more. 

It's no surprise or coincidence that nature has been neglected, trampled on, destroyed around the same time in history that womxn have been deemed the lesser sex, witches were burned, we've been paid less to do the same work as men, etc. etc. I don't want to go too much into the negative. But sometimes it's needed in order to open our eyes and hearts. If reading this makes you feel something, that is a good thing. Can you be with those feelings? What are they telling you?

Feelings and womxn and the earth is a whole other blog post that I'll share with you some day. And there's so much more about womb wisdom to share. For now know that you deserve all the love, respect, equality, abundance, joy, prosperity, opportunity, kindness in the world! And so does the earth. <3

​If you're looking for suggestions on what to do to help take care of the earth check out my blog post "For the Earth..."

I like to check in and review/revise my vision for my work in the world every so often. But really, it's not work. It's me being who I am. And when you are you, you bring your "work" into the world too! 

Sometimes I like to record myself speaking about it. I find when I do it that way words come out that I might not if I were writing instead. So yesterday I sat down to record my vision and now I'm sharing it with you! 

I'm sharing because this vision feels closer than it ever has before. We are really shifting and changing now, even if you don't feel it, even if you're resisting it. Change is going to serve us. It is serving us.

Below is the uncut, uncensored version of my vision. It flowed out of me easily and includes my sexy morning voice, me gulping down bone broth, and some swear words. Prefer a cleaner, written out version? Click here. 

How are you?
With all that is going on did you notice that the Spring Equinox has arrived? Spring is here! Yayyy! <3

The other morning I walked in Odell Park and could hear the birds. That brought me so much joy! And brought me right back to my center, which I admit is a place I have been straying from recently. In the past I might have been hard on myself about that but not anymore. We are human. And this is a journey.

I want you to know that everything you're experiencing and feeling right now is okay. This is a lot. You are loved. Iyanla Vanzant says 'it's not personal, and it's not permanent' (paraphrased) and so I like to remind myself of that. :)
 
Some invitations and offerings:

Ask and remind yourself....
In this moment I can relax my belly and take a deep breath.
In this moment I am well.
My body wants me to inhabit it so it can be healthy and resilient.
The earth is beneath me. I am always held. 
I am capable of feeling this.
I am supported. 
How do my feet feel? Can I feel them at all?
What would ground me in this moment? Eg. deep breaths, singing, dancing, shaking, a warm blanket, a warm cup of tea in my hands, warm bath, sending love to wherever I feel tense in my body, etc.

Also, I invite you to stay connected. Call a friend. Write them a letter. Several businesses are offering online classes right now (Breathing Space, Jungle House Dance Company, Bend City Yoga, Kuuma Yoga, etc). Tune in and stay connected with the energy of local businesses, teachers, students, guides, groups, etc. We all need each other's support.
 
Okay, my friends. Be well.
Mostly be you.
You are a gift in this world, at this time.
xo

Hello, dear ones:
I am with you, feeling the ups, downs, and bumps of this time. I've had a few days of fear and not being in grounded in my body and that's okay. This morning I woke up and thought:

This is a virus.
It is small (physically) and I am large (in comparison - somehow this thought helped me) 
I am full of wisdom and intelligence that dances all throughout my body and cells
I have a healthy immune system
Why am I giving all my power to a virus?

And it shifted. I feel more grounded, more calm, more in my center. 


I've been pulling back from social media. I find when I'm on it that the fear is amplified. At this moment though I do plan to do some lives on IG and FB offering some love and tips, etc., at some point. Please know that I am honouring myself deeply at this time and will only be sharing lives when and if I feel centered and feel called to from my heart, instead of the slight pressure I sometimes feel to share something meaningful there.  


What's grounding me at the moment?
Tuning into my womb
Dancing
Being so grateful for, and using often, my connection to my inner wisdom and guidance. I am my own authority. I am following all the suggestions set out by CDC and GNB at this time, but when it comes to everything I see on the media and social media I check in - does this feel true to me? Does this align with where I want to be right now? Is this helpful to take in right now? I'm not suggesting being ignorant. I'm suggesting the exact opposite. I'm suggesting you trust yourself and listen to your body's messages. Mine has been suggesting I drink lots of water, honour my emotions, and it has been telling me very clearly when to go to bed, which is usually earlier than I think.


Hearing our body's wisdom and messages comes when we are grounded, not in fight or flight. For that reason I'm offering single coaching sessions at 25% off to help you ground and tune in. They can be done virtually through a video chat, or by phone. If you'd like to honour your emotions and feel calmer and more supportive of yourself and your family during this time, reply to this email and let's connect. 


I am wrapping you in love.